Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My shadow

You never really pay your shadow much attention do you? Think about it. See, you really don't pay that little black marking on the ground any attention at all. I know I never did. Then it happened, I became a mother and I went from having one shadow that really didn't serve any purpose, never said a word, nothing it was just there to having a second shadow, and now a third. The second shadow tugged on my leg for several years, it talked to me, it followed me and my original shadow everywhere I went. I couldn't shake it, it was everywhere!!  That little shadow is bigger now, but it's still there. Not tugging at my leg quite as much but boy does it ever talk still! Then low and behold, I found myself with three shadows! I gained zero weight but I now have three separate shadows that follow me from the time my feet hit the floor until I go to bed again. This third shadow is almost as if it is physically attached to my body at times. It's chubby, short, and oh so cute. It prefers to hang off my hip more then my leg. It has a tendency to hit me in the chest too when it's not getting it's way.
With Carter, March 16, 2008...
Blog...Shadows
You've guessed by now, I'm talking about Carter-bug, and Tucker-bear. I remember as a child my mother would say, "I have a shadow, I don't need another", or she would say after hearing us call out mom a thousand times "mom's not here anymore. She is off today!" I have those days quite often but my shadows remind me to walk a little straighter. They remind me that I'm being watched and therefore I need to be the example I want them to see. The old saying, apples don't fall far from the tree... true, true, true!
With Tucker...
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I took a shadow picture with Carter back in March of 2008, yesterday I did one with Tucker. Knowing that I had one of each of them my mind started turning and that's when I started thinking about how much they watch us. I want to be a good impression for them. When they talk about me when they are older I want them to have positive memories. I want them to say I lived a life pleasing to God. My new question to myself when I get frustrated or at my wits end is going to be, 'is your shadow one that you want your children to stand in? Your little shadows are watching... remember!' I am challenging myself to be a better shadow.

Monday, February 8, 2010

11months

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Eleven months, already?! Why??? I left early Thursday morning, and didn't get to spend the day with Tucker-bear, but I'm sure he was just fine with his Granny! Here's an update on the little guy.
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*Walking FULL SPEED AHEAD!
*Loves grits
*Chases the cats for fun
*Started saying, "hello"
*Loves sipping on Strawberry soda with Dad
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*Says Bye, Bubba, Momma, Da-Da, and is starting dog
*Loves a bath more then eating, I do believe
*Started whole milk, and loving it
*Cow lover
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*Still has to have your blanket to go to sleep
*You think you are Carter's shadow!
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These are just a few of the things you're up to these days. You are still an amazement to me, each and every day. You make me laugh, you make me smile, and you make me miss having a tiny baby in my arms. You're growing to fast bear! Your big birthday is just a few weeks away. I'm planning the big event, and I know that you'll enjoy it!
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I love you sweet boy. I love to hear you babble, and most of all to hear you say dog. You are my little buddy, and you have my heart in the palm of your little hand. Happy 11 month birthday!!
Love you... momma

Welcome Brayden Cole

Last Thursday, February 4, 2010, I started the morning much earlier then I ever do. 4:30 a.m. my alarm clock was going off and I was up with a pep in my step. It was the day that Brayden would make his grand entrance into this world. It was the day his mother and father had been waiting for, forever. I jumped in the shower, got dressed, started a pot of coffee then I hear my phone ringing. I knew Amanda would either say, it's time or that we would need to wait a bit until the hospital had a bed for her. Her response, "they said for me to be there at 6:30!" I could hear the jitters in her voice. I told her I'd be to the hospital around 7ish. We hung up the phone and I started praying for her and Brayden. I vividly remembered the days that I had my boys. You're excited, your scared, your anxious, and quite frankly you think you're going to vomit at any given minute. I updated with, "This is it!" and off I went. I couldn't wait to get there!!! I was like a kid going on a field trip, or in a candy store. It was a little ridiculous that a almost 30 year old woman can act like that! :0
BLOG-L&D Brayden
BLOG-L&D Brayden
I gathered my things and I was out the door. There were several people expecting up to the minute details via text, so I started them bright and early. While I was texting, I couldn't help but think how truly blessed I am to have a group of girlfriends that share the exciting times in my life, but most importantly I know I have a group of girlfriends that I can call on at anytime to be prayer warriors. I knew that the day that was ahead would not be an easy one, but I knew that with the prayers and support that God would once again get the glory. I had a very long conversation with my friend Jill on the way to the hospital. She and I both were talking about how we knew just how excited and nervous Amanda must be that morning. Before we hung up she told me she'd be praying, and would be waiting patiently for updates.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
BLOG-L&D Brayden
I arrived at the hospital shortly after 7a.m. Amanda was already dressed in her lovely birthing attire, and the show was getting on the road. Her mom, Marsha, was already there. I was trying my very best to control the excitement within me. I didn't want to be the chatty cathy that I've been known to be when I get nervous or extremely excited. My dear friend sat there looking just beautiful. She had a glow about her. Her husband, Justin, was doing what most men do... relaxing, and eating his breakfast that I brought to him. Amanda was chipper, smiling, and ready to meet her sweet boy. Nene, Amanda's mom, was as excited as I was and she and I just couldn't wait.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
BLOG-L&D Brayden
After getting her i.v. started, the dreaded "Pit" was added to the mix. Pitocin is a drug that helps with contractions. It'll jump start anyone looking to have their baby! :)  I've had pitocin with both of my labors and it can get ugly, in my opinion anyways. The pitocin started doing its thing and it wasn't long until we started seeing Amanda's face twinge a little. They, the contractions, weren't bad right away but you could tell they were letting her know they were there. She was still smiling, and we were having a good time. Around 9ish sometime her cousin Trisha arrived and she helped keep the mood light. She and I were trying to answer any questions that Amanda had, and may have even told her some stuff that she'd rather not known.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
BLOG-L&D Brayden
Almost noon, her contractions were really starting to pick up. She was getting to the point of closing her eyes and not talking through them very much anymore. Her nurse, Norma, came in and suggested she get the epidural. By this time it was around 12:30 p.m., so we all decided to head out for some lunch and let her try and get some rest. Trish and I had lunch with Justin and his mom. The thoughts of when I was in labor with Carter and Tucker played vividly through my mind on that day.
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We made it back to the hospital to find Amanda doing much better. It's amazing how that epidural can put a smile back on moms face!  It's 1:30 in the afternoon and she has progressed to 4cm. Earlier that morning we had written down approximately what time we thought Brayden would make his debut. Little did we know none of us would come close. 5:00 rolled around, 5cm. 6:00 p.m., 6cm. The pattern seemed to be 1 cm. per hour. Around 8:00 p.m, we had to ask that family and friends leave the room because she was starting to feel a lot of pain. Her mom and I looked at each other, nervous but anxious that this might be it. We just might see baby Brayden soon. The nurse checked her and she was only at 6.5-7cm. The nurse recommended that she have the doctor come back in and check her epidural. They ended up upping her epidural and her pitocin, in hopes of bringing this little boy into the world before midnight.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
BLOG-L&D Brayden
I watched as she tried her best to get comfortable. It's a feeling of helplessness. You try to be supportive, you reassure her that everything will be okay, the pain will stop but to a laboring mother those words at that moment are just words. I was sending out those promised texts, and making a few phone calls. I was texting and calling those close friends and asking them for prayers. At this point she had been at it for more then 12 hours. She was exhausted and ready for it to be over. The nurse dimmed the lights and suggested she try her best to get some rest. Getting rest is almost impossible for a mom that is laboring. Your mind is like a roller coaster that just will not come to a stop or even remotely slow down.
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Around 10-10:30 p.m., the pain came back full speed ahead. Again her mother and I looked at each other silently thinking this could be it. The nurse said she was still only 8-9cm. Granted, that is great progress and the end is so clear insight but for the mother doing all the work, it's a bit disheartening to know that you've still got more work to do.  I stood by her bedside and with each contraction she would grip my hand, and Justin's. Her mom watched from the end of the bed. As Marsha watched her, I thought how awesome our God is. Parents love their children, but there is something about the love a mother has for her child. She wants with everything within her to take pain away from her children. Marsha wanted nothing less then to take all of Amanda's hurt away. I reminded Amanda that God was with her. I reminded her of how lucky we are that He allows women to be a part of such a miraculous thing in life. But then I couldn't help but think how His mother watched as her son was nailed to the cross at Calvary. So many times that evening I thought of my relationship with God. I stood quietly in the corner, or behind the curtain, or in the hallway crying out to Him to give my friend a renewed strength, give her peace to get through the final stages, to hear her cry for help. I had texted my sister and she replied back saying that she had stopped her homework to go to her room and pray for Amanda, Brayden and the doctors. She referred back to a song by "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns. The lyrics say,
"And I'll praise you in this storm 
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

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11:00 p.m., she's still experiencing intense pain. The nurse checks her again and she is 9cm! The end is truly insight.  Would it be minutes, or would we wait several more hours to meet Brayden.  That was the question everyone was wanting answered. Amanda had become very quiet, she needed rest, she was hungry, and she kept asking how much longer. She would ask the nurse if she was making progress. I remember asking that same question with Carter. I felt as if I was never going to give birth. The nurse had the anesthesiologist come back in and he did something with her epidural again. This gave her enough relief that she did rest just for a bit. Justin sat quietly in the stool beside her bed. He held her hand and watched the monitor closely. Her mom took a seat on the couch, and I found myself in the rocker. We were all tired, but I had no place to complain... she was the one doing all the work.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
I looked up at the clock and it was 12:34. The room was silent. The only thing we heard was the beat of Brayden's heartbeat on the monitor and the tick of the clock above me. As we sat quietly, each of us trying to stay awake, I once again found myself in prayer asking God to let her deliver safely, with no complications and soon. I sat there thinking how truly, truly blessed I was to be a part of a day that would forever be so special in their lives. There is nothing sweeter then the birth of a child. The room fills with excitement, tears, joy, and happiness that will do nothing but build in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.  The door cracked open and in came the nurse. She asked, "doing okay?" Justin replied to her, "well we didn't have a baby while you were gone." It was funny. I have to give him major kudos. He never left her side. He encouraged her, and you could tell that he was in this with all of his heart. I told his mother, and Marsha that they should both be very proud.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
2:00 a.m. she started to push. The exhaustion that was in the room was now overcome by adrenaline. It wouldn't be long now. The moment we all had waited for would be here at any moment. Camera in hand I found my place in the corner. Justin on the left side of her bed, her mom on the right. Everyone in the room giving her those words of encouragement, and she was giving it her all. The doctor came in just before Brayden was born, as they all do and with a few good pushes Brayden found himself in the arms of his mother. The moment was one that I can't explain. It was if I was reliving the moment of holding my sweet babies for the first time. Your heart is overjoyed, your cup runneth over. Justin's face was filled with every emotion possible. He was proud, he was in love, and he had the biggest smile you've ever seen. Marsha was sobbing, and relieved that her baby was now out of pain, and her baby girl now knew the meaning of love. I stood to the side watching all of this unfold and immediately thanked God for His mercy, grace, and perfect blessings that day.
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Brayden shocked us all. He was a big boy!!  He weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces. We teased Amanda that he was going to give her a run for her money. He was perfect in every way. He laid in the warmer as the nurses checked him over, and I thought how amazing that he was just inside his mother, and now here he is for all of us to see. God is so good.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. If you have never witnessed a birth first hand, you don't know the feeling. It's a feeling that I can't explain. I want too, but I just don't feel I can even remotely come close to what it's really like. All I can say is I watched a miracle. The sweet cry he made when he took his first breath, the color of his skin, the perfection of his ten tiny fingers and toes. The ability that God gives to women, the strength we didn't know we had. The love that we never thought we could feel. It's all there in that room. Tell me there's not a God and I'll have to tell you your wrong.
BLOG-L&D Brayden
By this time it was now almost 4:30 a.m. I had officially been up for 24 hours. I said my farewells and headed home, in hopes of getting some much needed rest before my little guys would wake up at 7:00. On the ride home I just replayed all of the days moments again, and again in my head. I couldn't help but think about how Amanda will relive this day again and again in her own head. She'll look at that sweet baby lying in her arms and be amazed. She'll watch him grow, and learn and still be amazed. She'll thank God countless times for allowing her to be this child's mother. As the little song Carter sings, "my God is so good, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God can not do!!" How true is that? Just before I turned on the final stretch to my house the radio started playing, "Praise you in this storm". The tears began to flow and I thanked God for watching over my dear friend during that stormy part of her life as she welcomed her sweet baby into this world. I prayed that he would watch over Brayden as he grows, and watch over their family. It is my prayer that the love they felt on that early February morning will do nothing but grow stronger each and every day... I'm sure it will.
BLOG-L&D BraydenMom and baby are doing great. They came home Saturday afternoon and are adjusting just fine to their new way of life! Thank you to all of you that sent me emails, comments, and prayers. You don't know how much they mean.  THANK YOU!!!!
BLOG-L&D Brayden
Amanda & Justin,
Thank you. I hope that the pictures I took for you will be something you will treasure always. The two of you are going to be wonderful parents, and I am so proud of you. Brayden is absolutely perfect, beautiful, and I just love him. I want you to know that God allowed the birth of your son to remind me of how truly blessed I am to be a mother, to have healthy children, and to be able to experience such a joy in life. I pray that Brayden brings that same joy and happiness into your homes. From what I saw yesterday, he's already doing a wonderful job!!!!  Many years of love, peace, happiness, good health and precious memories to you all!!!
love...Jennifer

Friday, February 5, 2010

What a day

Just wanted to give a quick update. Amanda delivered Brayden at 3:10 a.m. this morning. He weighed 8lbs. 10oz.!  They are both doing well, mom is just tired. I will update with pictures and more excitement later today or tomorrow. She was in labor for 20 hours and I didn't get home until 5:00 this morning. I'm running on two hours of sleep, and I'm about to prop my eyes open with toothpicks. The boys are up, running wild, and I'm not even sure I'm coherent, LOL! I've not pulled an all-nighter like that since I was in my early 20's!  Whew... I know now why I don't do that anymore!

Thank you to those of you that kept her in your prayers. God is good, and we are so thankful that He watched over both Amanda and Brayden into the wee hours of the morning this a.m..  I promise to post pictures soon. For now, I'm going to say prayers of my own that these children of mine have pitty on this tired soul and let me take a GOOD nap!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

This is it!

The call just came, the hospital is ready for my friend Amanda. We are on our way to the hospital. I ask that you all keep her and Brayden in your prayers. I will update as soon as possible with how they are doing!!

I'm out of here, the excitement is about to kill me!!!  Have a great Thursday!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm not a patient person...

It's only Tuesday, and it seems like already I've been a thousand places this week. It feels like I have accomplished more in two days then I have in the past two months. What's my deal you ask? Well, I'm nesting!  Yep, you read that correctly and it's not even for myself, that's the strangest part. My best friend, Amanda, is expecting her baby boy any minute. I'm as excited as I was when I was expecting my boys. My house is as clean as it can be. I've even gone as far as to clean out closets. I'm not kidding. I've cleaned out Carter's, Tucker's, and the office has been rearranged and organized. I think I may have a problem, LOL!

I just can't wait. I am on pins and needles waiting for her call. Each time the phone rings I get butterflies thinking it could be her. I'm so excited to be a part of their special day. I keep thinking of what joy and happiness that the photos my friend Kari did for me of Tucker's birth, and I can't wait to give Amanda the same gift.

I'm sure she is anxious, and excited, and all the other emotions that flood a new moms soul in the days prior to delivery. I can't help but think of the night before I had Tucker. I was as inpatient then as I am now!!! Please keep my dear friend in your prayers. Pray for a safe, and quick delivery. Pictures of sweet baby Brayden will be up soon!!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Mooooo Moooo Moooo...

The cattle are lowing, the baby momma awakes...yes, I was awakened by the sound of a poor momma cow looking for her baby last night. Yesterday was the day that Travis and the other fellas of Cow Bird Lane took the babies from their mommas. It's a part of the farm life that I don't think I'll ever come to terms with. The babies are being placed in another pasture, while poor momma walks around wondering why on earth her little one is not answering her call.

We went to bed last night, and it wasn't three minutes I hear her calling. I think to myself, well she'll give up in a few minutes. Not.a.chance!!!!!!!!  She mooed all night long looking for her little one. It was the same cow, all night. If I were to lose one of my children, I'd probably walk around and look for them. Not this momma. She wanted to stand right outside of our window and moo. Get a hint sister, they aren't answering you so do us all a big favor and BE QUIET!!! I would fall asleep, only to roll over to hear her calling, again... and again... and again!
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Above: She's the one in the middle.  Below: You can see her as she leans her head forward calling for her baby!
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This morning I drag myself out of bed just before Travis left for the day. I told him to make sure he found his distraught momma cow, load her up and take her to the sale. Yes, I know that's  a bit cold hearted on my behalf, but I LIKE SLEEP. He just laughed and patted me on the back. He takes nothing I say to heart, nothing. So, I immediately start my coffee that wasn't due to brew until 7:00. It was only 6:52! I'm giving myself a pep talk to wake up, when I hear it. It was her, still mooing for this calf that has been gone for several hours now. Keep in mind, she's not the only momma out there that is without child today. Several of them become childless yesterday but you don't hear any of the rest of them making such a ruckus, now do you?! I took Carter to school, and when I returned she was still standing in the same area, doing the same thing she'd been doing since 10:00 last night.

Dear heartbroken momma...come on sister... get a grip. Mooooooove on, you'll have another baby in another 10-12 months. In the meantime, please stop mooing. Once or twice is cute, and pulls at my heartstrings but by this point I'm over you and have no sympathy for you.  Good day.

La la lalalala... La lalalala...

Do you recognize that little tune, you know from the Smurfs?  Everyone remembers the little blue people. I loved that cartoon!  On Tuesday while I was getting Carter ready, Tucker walked out of the room. I knew the majority of what was laying around and assumed he'd be just fine until I was finished with Carter.  To my surprise he came back into the room looking like Papa Smurf!  I couldn't help but laugh as he sucked on the blue marker, left out by his brother.
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How stinking cute is he???

Monday, January 25, 2010

Memory Monday

One year ago this week, this is what my Carter-bug was up too.


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The Greatest Show on Earth!!

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Friday was such a fun day with Carter. I was glad that Travis and I were able to spend a few hours with just him. I think sometimes he feels he gets the short end of the stick, with all our attention on Tucker. He was thrilled to go to the circus. He couldn't wait to see the elephants and tigers.
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BLOG-Circus
We dropped Tucker off with Granny, and we were on our way. As we were driving down the back roads heading towards the interstate Carter said, "Momma, that water slide (the road) keeps getting dry before we get there!" I was so confused. For the life of me I had no idea where this comment came from. There was a car ahead of us and Carter said, "see, that Car went through the water on the slide (the road) but when we get there the water is all gone!" Travis and I just looked at each other so puzzled. Carter then said, "look, look, there it is!" We looked ahead of us and on the road we saw the heat waves that do look like water puddles if you think about it. We just laughed, and then explained to him what it was. I still don't understand why the road was considered a water slide, but whatever!
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BLOG-Circus
Unfortunately for, on our way to the circus we had to make a detour to take care of some business, and he was a little irritated that we weren't going straight to the circus. We had to go to the beach to take care of this business, which meant we had to take the interstate which we don't normally travel. We were going to the 'busy' side of our city and Carter has never been that way. When we exited the interstate, on to another busy highway we had to make a huge circle on the off ramp. As we continued around Carter pipes up from the backseat and says, "how do we get off of here Dad?!" Again, another funny Carter comment. I just chuckled to myself because I suppose our little country boy is somewhat sheltered!  :) We arrived at the office, and Carter made sure to tell everyone there that he was going to the circus to see elephants. Our appointment didn't take long, thank goodness!
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BLOG-Circus
We were finally on our way to the circus for real this time. Travis had me doing the driving since we were cutting it close on time. I had two backseat drivers... I think they were both a little scared, LOL!!! When we pulled in at the arena, Carter's excitement was busting out of the truck! He was unbuckling his seatbelt, jabbering about anything and everything and it was almost like he'd eaten a dozen chocolate candies! Walking to the arena, I couldn't help but smile. He's such a blessing and his excitement and the smile on his face really makes all the chaotic days as a momma worth every minute!
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BLOG-Circus
We found our seats and they were allowing the kids to come down and meet the clowns, and try on costumes and a lot of other fun stuff. We walked down but once we made it there, Carter wanted nothing to do with anything that was going on. So we climbed the stairs back to our seats and waited patiently for the show to begin. His eyes were so busy trying to keep up with everything that was going on. It was nothing but amazement, he was even sitting still he was so amazed.
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It was time. The lights dimmed, and the music started to play. By this point Carter was on the edge of his seat. Out came every clown, every animal, people on stilts, beautiful costumes, funny cars, you name it... we saw it. The elephants were by far his favorite. He also really enjoyed the motorcycles that get into the round ball. Yeah, those guys scared the heebie jeebies out of me! They started out with three, no big deal... I could see how that would work. They moved up to four, then five, they ended up with SEVEN motorcycles in that one little ball. I won't lie, I was nervous, I was nauseous and all I could think is my son is fixing to witness a huge mess!!!
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One of my favorite shows was the people who were able to balance each other on their stomachs, or one handed. It was insane!! There were three women and I promise you they could move in ways I didn't think were possible. They honestly must not have a backbone, or hipbones, or any joint that normal humans have!! All I could think was, I would be broken into a million pieces!! There were two brothers that could lift each other with one arm. Another man and woman, and she supported all of his weight on her legs while squatting, and then balanced all of the mans weight on her stomach while squatting. I can't explain it, you just have to see it for yourself.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon with Carter. It's so much fun to watch him enjoy new things. Watching him on Friday really made me realize that he's growing up too quick. I'd love to just stall the hands of time for a bit and not let him grow anymore, but I know I have to. Next year, I'm sure Tucker will enjoy the show too!! I am one blessed momma, that's for sure!
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 I LOVE YOU CARTER BUG xoxo