That's how we roll...

There sits a big long tube.  So lonely and just looking for someone to play with.  Who else but my dear Carter to find a way to play with this plastic culvert.  There's never a dull moment here, never.  In he crawls, and giggles!  More Daddy, more!!!  Travis was pushing him across the yard as he rolled around inside.  

Tucker just sat and watched as he always does.  He's going to have a lot of ideas of things to get into when he gets old enough.  For now, he does pretty good entertaining himself in the stroller, or wagon.  He's been a much happier little guy since all those teeth have finally broken the skin. 

Tonight was so relaxing to just hang out with our little family.  Our routine, boring to some people, but we enjoy it.  Nothing like the chuckles of children's laughter, the crisp, fall air, and two very dirty little boys.  Carter can't seem to go out the door without getting dirty, and Tucker well he's about the same here lately.  Those little soft, pudgy feet black as smut.  I give up keeping them clean.  Their having fun, so I just look at it as my way of keeping the soap companies in business.  Without the mother's of little boys, soap companies would be filing bankruptcy!

Tucker ever so content in his wagon, being licked by the dogs, eating hay, he didn't care.  He was happy.  I just let him play by himself as Carter ran circles around him.  I had to help Travis with the cows, when I turned and looked up, I saw the cutest thing I'd seen in quite sometime. Carter had the wagon, pulling Tucker as fast as he could saying, "you better hang on Tucker!" Tucker leaned back against the seat of the wagon, holding on to the side, and smiling that big toothy smile of his.  The bond between them, already, amazes me.  It's heart warming!

Travis snagged my camera, when I looked to see what he was taking a picture of I was not surprised.  My husband has quite the different eye for pictures, then I.  Of all the beautiful things to take pictures of around our house.... he takes a picture of a string.  Not any string, but a string in the corral where the cows are, and the string is covered in about forty flies!!!  I guess it's safe to say everyone has their own way of thinking!! LOL!!!  It looked like a fly family reunion or something.  Gross.

The evening came to an end with yet another beautiful sunset on Cow Bird Lane.  If someone to ask what I'd miss most about our home I'd have to say it's the sunsets.  Each evening, they are spectacular.  Different each and every time.  From pink, to burnt orange, to a deep purple...how awesome is our God??

Mr. Chompers

Oh, our sweet little red headed bear.  He has been absolutely miserable this week.  At first I figured okay, he's teething.  Our routine was all out of whack.  We were spending a lot of time at Granny and Papa's, and I thought maybe being out of our routine was a big part of his fussiness. Well, the irritability got worse, the crying got worse, the sleeping became worse, it was a downward spiral, and fast!!!  

Wednesday night was horrible.  He cried about everything.  Nothing anyone did made him happy. Our friend Larry was visiting Papa and he offered to take all the kids outside and to let us spend some time with the family by Papa's bedside.  I was very thankful to have a break from the crying, and able to spend some time with our dear Papa.  After about an hour, we decided that we would head on home, we were all exhausted and bedtime seemed like the perfect solution for all of us. 

Mad at me, because he couldn't figure out how to get out from under the table.

The next morning I wake up to my sweet bear smiling in his crib.  Complete change from the past three days.  As I pick him up and he smiles that big grin, I see the reason for all his crying. Not one tooth, but three and the fourth is almost through the skin.  Whew, poor guy, no wonder he was so miserable.  I guess getting it all over with at one time is better then one tooth at a time!

He now has a total of eight teeth all together.  He is also babbling a lot more and cruising the furniture and anything he can hold on too!!  It seems so funny to look at him with all those little white teeth shinning.  Can't believe he's getting so big.

Yummy, yum, yum!!!

We all like a good dessert, right?  Well trust me when I tell you that the desserts here in the south are just splendid!!  Nothing beats a good, sugar filled pound cake or lemon pie.  Our family has been enjoying many, many sweets over the past few weeks due to the loving supportive friends and family that have provided food during our difficult time.  

One of the favorite desserts was a pumpkin roll.  Oh my stars, it was superb!  Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.  So, I came home with all intentions of making a pumpkin roll.  My moms friend sent me the recipe but said to 'try' it before making it to take somewhere.  She said it could be difficult... for me?!  No way, I'm Ms. Rachel Ray!! LOL..LOL!

I settled with a pumpkin spice cake, and boy oh boy was it yummy!!  

Just my boring rambles...

Wow, what a week. Roller coaster of emotions. On top of everything, Tucker is having his own rough week. Unlike your normal teething baby, my sweet child has decided that he'll just cut to the chase and get all his teeth at one time. He has his two bottom teeth, cut his first top one a few days ago, now the second top one is breaking through, and the third bottom tooth is pushing it's way to the surface. Whew! Wears me out just thinking about it.

Anyone that has dealt with a teething baby knows that cutting one tooth is one thing, but come on three?! What on earth did I do to deserve this? He is clingy, he's whiny, he's snotty (sorry, but it's true). Luckily, unlike your normal teether, he does not run fever and this time around his bottom is getting a break from "the" breakout! My poor little bear is miserable. He's tired, I'm tired, we're both cranky and I just want my smiling happy baby back. If anyone sees him crawling around aimlessly, please return him. There is a reward, LOL!!

Our community has been struck with horrible news. A seven year old girl was kidnapped, and killed. I will not go into details but it's just horrible. My heart breaks more each and every time I see her mother on t.v. How do you wake up and face another day knowing that someone snatched your child as they were walking down the street and then kill them? I can not imagine the pain that she and the rest of her family are going through. She keeps saying, I can't remember if I told her I love her. Goes back to what I said earlier this week, make sure you tell the ones you hold so dear know that you love them each and every day. The mother says she misses her smile, holding her, and giving her kisses. Please, keep this family in your prayers. Hold your babies tight tonight and let them know you love them.

Papa is about the same. We are just taking it moment by moment, breath by breath. We did not go over to visit today because of Tucker being so cranky, Carter was extra hyper, and I think we just needed some family time at home. I've thought about him so many times today. Every time the phone rang I was hesitant to see the number calling. I talked to my mother in law who said he told them he was ready to go. It's still so hard, even though we know it will be okay. Papa's sister Jewell was with us all last night as we gathered around his bed. She told him that he was loved very much, and that his children would take care of Granny. She then paused, looked around the room at each of us and said, "Children, nothing would please your Daddy more then to know that each and everyone of you will meet him in Heaven." I sobbed when she said that. I am so grateful that I know the Lord and I know when my time comes that I will be in His arms. For weeks I've wanted to step out and ask that question to the family that has gathered, but I've hesitated. Why? Fear of rejection I suppose. Fear of not knowing how to answer any questions they may have, fear of not being the witness I should be at all times.

Last night as I stood at the foot of his bed, God spoke to my heart and at that moment I realized that just because I handle things one way does not mean that someone else will handle it the same way. I can only hold myself accountable for my actions, I can't be accountable for anyone else. I may be the only light for someone in that home to see. I may be the only comforting word they hear, and if I'm not being a good witness for Christ, then my work is in vain. I've learned so much in this week. I've learned that death really isn't as 'scary' as I had always pictured it to be. If you know the Lord, it can be a very peaceful time. Over the past year I've wondered how I would handle this time that we are facing now. Would I run from it? Would I be a supporter? Would I have the words to say to provide comfort for the family that is grieving? The time is here. I've not once wanted to run. I've wanted to be with our family each and every moment possible. I've held Papa's hand and told him how very much I love him and appreciate the values he's left us. There are so many things that God has shown me this week, valuable lessons and things I will never forget.

On a good note, we have a buyer for our old house. My brother and sister in law (well not officially but she might as well be). I am so excited. It's a blessing to us to find a buyer, and I'm super excited about having them just minutes away from us. Now, if we could just get my sister and Kyle moved back to town, and then move my mom here we'd all be right here together.

Well, I've rambled enough here. I should find my comfy p.j's and get in the bed. If tomorrow is anything like today, big bear is going to have it in for me!! Good night all, and God bless!!

Letting go

It is so hard to let go of things you love.  As a mother it's hard to let go of the baby days that seem to last only for a moment.  It's hard to let go and let your baby who has turned into a big boy walk into his classroom for the first time.  It's hard to let go of friendships, a pet, a job whatever the case may be.  Letting go is just hard sometimes.  

Our dear Papa is nearing his final days and it's so hard to know that we have to let go and let him go.  Still so many conversations I want to have, so many songs I want to hear him play on his guitar, so many stories I have yet to hear. Yesterday, I spent the day in his home helping however I could.  I was hoping that by being there I could be of some sort of help, support, anything.  I have never lost anyone close to me, so this is also a learning experience for me.  

The past several weeks I've watched as my mother in law and her siblings have stood by day in and day out.  I knew the process of being there was a lot, and had it's trying and tiring moments but they've not complained.  They've pulled together and they've been there for Papa each and every moment.  It's love.  What better to have in a family then love.  Yesterday as I watched the emotional roller coaster, just being there for the several hours that I was at that moment shown how truly trying this time really is.  It is so hard to watch someone that you know and love so deeply battle a disease that can not be won on this earth.  So many times yesterday I sat and prayed.  I prayed for God's peace throughout the home.  I prayed for God to comfort Papa, for Him to provide him with rest.  I walked into his room only to see dear Granny clenching his hand, her head on the bedrail, and tears streaming down her face.  I stood there and prayed that God would wrap His loving arms around her and let her know that she is not alone, for He is with her.

I've talked about their love for one another here before.  It's a blessing to my soul each time that I see them.  Granny's spirit is broken, her heart feels empty, but she knows that Papa is on his way to a better place, the arms of our dear saviour.  Sitting with her yesterday she told me that earlier that morning Papa had told her that every time he would crank up the car, she was right there ready to go with him regardless of where it was...she was there.  She told me that she held his hand and said, "I can't go with you this time.  But I'm coming soon, so wait for me." She smiled ever so sweetly and just looked back at him.  She also told me how blessed I am to be able to stay at home with my babies, and that how now days we are able to provide so much more for our children then they were able to.  She said that she and Papa had talked about the things they wish they could go back and change.  I stopped her and told her that the things they gave their children were suffice.  Their lives were full, a roof over their heads, food on their table, and a home filled with unconditional love.  She just held my hand and cried.  So many times today I watched as she just stared at him. Knowing that she would give anything for him to sit up, and talk to her.  She would love to have him eating breakfast and drinking coffee with her.  My heart breaks knowing that she is going to long for the sound of his voice.  The smell of his clothes, the touch of his hand.  

I also prayed yesterday that God would give me the words to say in moments like this.  I feel lost a bit, like I don't know whether I should speak or not.  Will what I have to say help, or hinder?  God made it clear to me yesterday that you don't always have to say something, or do something big that everyone notices, but it's the little things that go unnoticed that sometimes help the most.  

Several family members came over for dinner last night.  As I sat at the table eating, I couldn't help but think about how much Papa would enjoy to sit at that table.  Listen to his children, grand-children, and great grand-children talking.  I wondered if by chance he could hear us in the other room.  Each of us is dealing with this differently.  Some of us cry in the open, others of us prefer to be alone.  Some of us hold his hand when we talk to him, others of us do not. Regardless of how we are handling it, I know that Papa knows and can feel the love that is around him and filling his home.  After dinner, we all gathered around his bed.  I felt helpless, a bit scared, yet peaceful at the same time.  I cried as I watched him breathe, yet I smiled knowing that he will soon be breathing with no problems.  He'll be singing a song of praise.  He woke for just a moment and Carter and Tucker were able to love on him for a bit.  Tucker gave him a big smile, and Carter wrapped his little tiny arms around Papa's stomach.  My sweet baby said, "I love you Papa" and I couldn't help but sob.  He may be only four but he knows that something is not right, and that Papa is not feeling well.  We've talked but I don't think his mind really comprehends what is going on.  

Papa told us he was going fishing.  We all chuckled, and Uncle Chris said he thought we'd need to wait a bit because the weather just wasn't right for fishing right now.  Aunt Vicki asked Papa if he wanted to go down to Boggy Creek and do some fishing, something she talked to me a week ago about that she remembers doing so many times with Papa.  Klynt and Travis told Papa they would hook the trolling motor up to his bed and we'd take him fishing whenever he wanted.  Papa loved to fish.  He told Travis, Klynt, and Daniel a few weeks back that he wanted them to have his fishing boat.  What a memory for them all to share.  I told Travis I can't wait for him to take Carter fishing in the Spring. After all the fish talk, I told everyone we would have to plan a day once a year to fish in Papa's honor and have a big fish fry.  Papa loved to fry fish, and his hush-puppies, were delicious!!!

We kissed Papa good night and told him we loved him. When we got home, I talked to Carter about if he understood going to heaven.  He told me, "we go to see Jesus".  I explained to him that Papa is very sick, and weak and that soon Jesus will call him and he will go to Heaven to live.  He asked if Granny was going to go with him.  I told him no, she would stay here with us. He said, "Momma, I don't want Papa to go to Heaven, I want him to stay here with Granny."  I told him that Jesus would make Papa feel better, he asked if Papa would find Jasper (our dog) and I told him yes.  He also asked if we would see him in Heaven.  I told him that if we love Jesus, and know him in our hearts that yes one day when God is ready for us we will also be in Heaven and see Papa again.  He just looked at me with that typical Carter look, and said okay but Granny is staying here?  I love the innocence of children.  I told him to pray for Papa when he went to sleep and he said, "I will momma."

Letting go isn't easy, but letting go knowing that he will be walking the streets of Heaven is such a reassurance.  Take time today to tell each person that you hold dear in your life, I love you. 

YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!

Tucker has learned a new favorite trick.  Clapping!!  He does it all the time, even when he's upset. It is so cute to watch him.  When he's not upset his little face just lights up!  He also cut his third tooth this weekend, and has decided that holding on to the table is not necessary for him to stand up.  He holds on long enough to pull himself up, then lets go and stands there.  Granted it's not for a very long time, maybe a second or two but my point is, HE'S ONLY 7.5 months old!!!!

Don't mind the grits... he was eating breakfast! ;)

What a rainbow

Friday we woke up to a nice chill in the air, and a sunrise that was breathtaking!  I really, really wish I was more of a morning person.  What a way to start each day by watching the sun rise up above the tree tops.

I walked through the kitchen on my way to wake Carter, and new I had to hurry if I wanted to get a picture.  When I woke Carter up he said, "but momma... it's still dark outside."  I told him not for long, get up come see the sun coming up over the trees.  He wasn't nearly as excited as I was.  

I was able to get a picture.  Then the normal routine started. By the time we headed out the door for school the rain was still coming down, but not hard. The sun was casting a orange hue on everything.  I couldn't help think that the day was feeling like Fall, finally! I loaded the boys into their car seats and then jumped in the truck, only to jump right back out and run inside and grab my camera.

There was a rainbow, actually two behind our house.  I snapped a few pictures and then realized we were really running late if I planned on getting Carter to school on time.  I jumped back in the truck, backed up, headed out the driveway when I noticed, the other half of the rainbow was on the other side of our house!!!!  I thought it was so neat, so of course I stopped the truck, jumped out and started snapping again.  Carter yelled from the truck, "we're going to be late!!!" Think he's heard that a time or two?!  

When I loaded these pictures I was yet again reminded how awesome our God is.  Hope you enjoy the pictures too!

A busy Saturday

Momma, it's time to go to the fair!! Those were the very first words out of Carter's mouth on Saturday morning when I woke him up. As you can tell by his face, he was still half asleep but ready for the fair!

After assuring him a thousand times that we would eventually go back to the fair he calmed down. I helped change his mind by telling him we were going to a party. He's always up for a party of any kind. Doesn't matter to Carter.

We went to a family reunion first, and then to sweet Rylee's first birthday. I can not believe that a year has already gone by and she is one. Carter had a blast at the party. He was the one who broke the pinata and is still talking about it today!!

Happy Birthday sweet Rylee!!!!

It's Fair Time!!!!!

Today I enjoyed a fun afternoon with the other ladies of the family at the Southern Women's Show.  We met at Olive Garden for some lunch and then headed to the show.  We were able to get lots of free goodies, and I even found out that my back, shoulders, and hips are all out of whack. There was a chiropractor there and he did some sort of test that showed me all uneven.  I could have told him that without the test.  He asked what I do, and if I carry my purse on the same shoulder all the time.  I said, "I'm a stay at home mom, and no, I carry a 21 pound 7 month old on my left hip pretty much all day!"  As I already knew, he informed me that was my problem.  The solution, swap hips more often or teach the kid to walk! :)

While I was at the SWS, Carter was spending the day with his Dad.  They delivered hay to the fair grounds, and then Carter patiently waited for me to get home so we could go to the fair.  I called on my way home only to hear him in the background saying, "Momma... hurry up, we've got to go to the fair!"  It's so much fun to see him get so excited about the fair.  The evening was beautiful.  A slight chill in the air, the aroma of all that artery clogging food, and the sound of kids running and playing, and the carnies begging for your money.  For those of you who don't know, the fair has a special meaning for me.  I met Travis at the fair twelve years ago this month.  We've been to more county fairs together then we have been to movies... seriously, I'm not kidding!  Each year when the signs start posting for the fair I'm reminded of the year I met my dear Trav!

We made our way through the barn, out to the midway.  Carter kept repeating, "I've got to ride the American rides!!"  I have no idea where he got the name American rides, it's just something he came up with.  He also said, "I'm going to the fair, like the cowboys in Texas!"  Again, who knows.  He walked through a tad bit hesitant the first round, so we decided to get something to eat.  He ate TWO hot dogs.  We had chicken fingers and fries.  As soon as he was done, he was ready to go.  No hesitation this time.  

As I watched him walk the circle, checking out each and every ride I couldn't believe that I was watching my big boy ride the rides.  His first fair was when he was 2 months old, and here he is now not afraid of anything.  When he ran out of tickets he gave his usual meltdown but it only lasted for a minute or so.  He's so excited to go back later this week!

What about this little ham, hamming it up?  Mmm, Mmm, Mmm... those cheeks are too sweet!

My absolute world... wouldn't change it for anything!!  

Someone for you to meet

Yesterday was just a typical day here on Cow Bird Lane.  Carter was out of school, mounds and mounds of laundry stared at me for hours, and I personally had no initiative to do anything. Finally around lunch time I debated what on earth I was going to fix for lunch.  Our pantry was getting to the point I was afraid if anyone looked in there they would think I was intentionally starving my children.  We were down to the nitty gritty!  

Off to the grocery store we went.  You'll recall the last time I went grocery shopping it was a bit of a fiasco!  I set out with a good mind set, you know thinking positive.  The boys would behave, there would be no one in the store since it was the middle of the day, and a Monday at that.  We barely made it through the produce department and it was ON!  A little over an hour later, we walked out of there with $150 less in our pockets.  Why can't everything just be BOGO?! Wouldn't that just make the world a much happier place?  I surely think so!

I unload the groceries with the help of Carter.  I just love that he's getting to be a big, "strong" boy that can help me all the time.  He always wants me to feel his muscles.  Bless his heart, his arms are so stinking small!!  Bag after bag we walked back and forth until they were all out.  I went to park the truck and as I did that's when I noticed we had a new neighbor!

I pulled closer to the back fence behind the barn to find this sweet momma cow and her newborn right beside the fence. I was ecstatic!!!!  They never have their babies that close to the fence.  I hurried inside, rushed Carter through his lunch and back we went to meet this little cutie patootie!!  The momma was a bit hesitant at first but after she realized we were going to feed her some fresh hay and carrots she warmed right up to us wanting to take picture.  The baby is so adorable. I decided to name her Mo, she was born on MOnday so why not name her Mo?  I know, genius right?! So new, not even able to really stand for long.  I took several pictures until Cowboy and Tater blew that for me.  The momma started getting really agitated so we let her alone and came back inside.  

Today they've both been out in the pasture resting.   The dogs finally got on her nerves enough that she moved farther out into the pasture.  I really don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing new babies being born.  It's just so much fun!!  Oh, and I guess I've really taken the title since Travis bought me a license plate for my truck.... "Farm Girl".