Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Days go by...

I'm reminded of these lyrics as I start this post,

And days go by...
I can feel 'em flyin'
Like a hand out the window in the wind.
The cars go by...
Yeah it's all we've been given,
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by...
Oh and a woo-hoo...

Days fly by. There's absolutely nothing I can do to slow them or freeze them. I'm always catching myself in a moment wishing I could slow down that clock that seems to speed up each day that passes. Call me crazy but to me it seems each year goes by quicker and quicker than the last one did. Bittersweet is the only way I know to sum that up. That's just what last Thursday was for me, completely bittersweet. You see, Tucker has been fighting bedtime for weeks/months now. I'd put him in the crib, he'd climb out. We'd repeat this process numerous times each night. I finally had a mommy moment and came to the conclusion that I was just fighting a losing battle. I can't stop him from moving on to the next stage... the big boy bed was here, it was time. 
So I took the front off of his crib and the smile on his face was priceless. It was like a little bird falling out of the nest realizing that he could fly on his own. My heart was sad. I don't want to not have a baby in our house. I want to know that I can go in there and see him so cozy in his little crib, because you know... that still makes him a baby if he's in the crib, right?!  

Nap time came, I walked him to his new bed and he climbed up just as pretty laid that little red head down and he was out. Umm, I'm sorry you're not going to fight me or get up or nothing? Seriously?!  I was floored. I couldn't believe my little turkey was laying so peacefully in this "big boy bed". Where did my baby go?

In shock I couldn't believe it. I stood at his door watching him curled up thinking about the night that I first put him in that crib to sleep. It was when he was three months old. Now look at him moving on to the next stage. He's perfectly fine with it, momma... not so much.
That nap went perfect. That night, he climbed right back in bed and was out. That ended when the next night he climbed into Carter's bed and fell right to sleep. That's where he's been every since. Granted I may not have a tiny baby in a crib, I do have two beyond amazing, precious, healthy, beautiful boys sleeping soundly together. It's what family and siblings is all about, isn't' it? The love, the togetherness. It warms my saddened soul. 

I love being a mom. I love the little things I get to witness each and every day. I love being the one they rely on for their every need. I love that God has given them to me, and that He has trusted me to instill in them the things they need to get through this life. As I watch them sleep I pray that God gives me the wisdom to guide them as He would have me do. I pray that He allows me to show them a mother that is patient, kind, and loving. It is my prayer that they have a friendship together that will last till their dying days. They are the reason my heart beats each and every day.  
Precious babies of mine... I love you. I could tell you that a million times a day and it still would not be enough to make you understand how much I need you and cherish you. You are rays of sunshine, your giggles I can't get enough of, and your love is amazing. I'm grateful for God sending you to me and joyed that the two of you have each other. Sweet dreams my precious boys, I love you to the moon and back!  Forever & Always.... Momma.