Thank you to each and everyone of you that have been praying for Tessa. I am sad to say that she is no longer here on earth. God saw fit for her to leave this place this evening. I can't imagine the pain the family is feeling, the way their hearts feel shattered, and empty for a person they love so deeply. My thoughts have been consumed today with what the outcome of all of this would be. I've prayed today, I've cried today, and at this moment all I can say is I am numb. I keep asking myself what if I knew I had a week to live. Would I change the way I'm doing things? Would I rock my boys to sleep, would I call my Granny and Papa more often, would I reach out to the homeless man on the street? Would I read my Bible more? Would I find a quiet place and seek God's will for my life, daily?
I've watched my babies playing today, giggling and I've stopped and said, thank you God for allowing me this moment. Thank you for my health, my family, and for each small blessing that so many days I over look and forget to stop and thank you for. As I said yesterday, I've not seen Tessa or most of her family in years. I do, however, remember playing with her and her sisters as a little girl. I remember looking forward to going to my grandmothers house in hopes that they would be next door for me to play with. Years later, I sit here typing about how Tessa's life, although I've not been a part of it in so long, has spoke to me in more ways than I can say. I've always known I'm not promised tomorrow, but I have promised myself that I'm going to quit worrying about the little things that at the end of the day don't really matter. I'm going to let the laundry go, or put the mopping off another day to sit and play with my boys. Read a book to them, or call that dear friend I've not talked to in weeks, months, or years. I promise myself to love my family as if this is the last moment I'll ever see their sweet faces. I'm going to cherish the giggles of my sweet boys as if I'll never hear it again. I'm going to look deeper into Travis' eyes and thank God for sending me a man that loves me and provides for me the way he does. I'm going to do my absolute best to live my days as if they were my very last one. Most importantly I'm going to walk closer, hand in hand with God. I want to stand before Him with no regrets when He calls me home.
I ask that each of you that is reading this, please continue praying for her family. Her husband, her daughters, her parents, her sisters, and the many, many friends that Tessa leaves behind. May they hold the memories that they shared with Tessa closer then ever. May they remember her smile, her personality, and her love for each one of them. Memories are all we can cling to when God calls one of our loved ones. I pray for each and everyone of the family members tonight.
To Jason, I can't even begin to understand how you feel tonight. I can only imagine that you are in shock, and you are feeling lost and alone. I pray that God will help you find a way to overcome each of those things and remember all the wonderful times you and Tessa shared together. May you never forget the way she made you laugh, or the way you felt knowing she was your best friend. I pray that God will keep you, comfort you, and heal your heart.
To your daughters, it is my prayer that God will let them find a way to understand what they have been faced with today. May they always know that a love a mother has for her children is undying, it's everlasting, and that without a shadow of a doubt they were her purpose on earth.
To Tessa's parents, God bless you. As a parent, I can't understand your hurt either. God's purpose is not always clear right away but without a shadow of a doubt... God took her home to teach us something. May we all figure that out in our own time. May you find the strength to face the days ahead. May your family grow stronger together and may God help you all to heal together and find peace. I thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with so many of us. She has touched so many lives in her time here on earth.
To the countless friends that have been praying and supporting Tessa and her family, may God truly bless each of you for providing love and comfort to this family. Continue to lift them up, lift each other up. The family is going to need your continued support for many days ahead.
As we all look to the days that God has remaining here on earth for us, may we remember... tomorrow is not a guarantee for us. Reach out to the ones you love, tell them you love them. Hold your babies a little tighter. Let go of the things you can not change, and make better the things you can. Remember to laugh, smile, and look around to the blessings that we all to often overlook. Again, I thank you all for your prayers during this time. I pray that God will touch many hearts and lives and may Tessa forever smile down upon us all.
Tessa... thank you for reminding me how precious life is.
My day with the Pioneer Woman
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