I was going to blog about this last night, but the laundry, organizing, and thank you note writing took away my evening. Yesterday was a very lazy day around these parts. Travis & Carter enjoyed a morning of fishing, and I found myself on the couch pretty much the entire day. I caught myself many times staring out the window and just day dreaming about my last few days as a mother of one. Granted I've really been a mother of two now for what, almost 10 months, but you know what I mean.
I can not fathom where the last 9 months of my life have gone. I am so grateful that I don't live a wild, full speed ahead kind of life. If I did I would truly have no idea where the last 9 months had gone. I feel like I just found out I was pregnant, and now here I sit just nine short, very short, days before my little boy is expected to arrive and I'm trying to comprehend that "I'm really going to be having another baby!" It seems weird, un-normal for me to say that it doesn't seem real. I almost feel like it's a dream, but then I realize that I'm folding newborn laundry and my dream quickly becomes a reality!
Saturday, a few of my good friends (Renee, Traci, & Tammy) hosted a sprinkle shower for immediate family & a few friends. As you've seen from past entries, the closet is pretty much full of stuff from Carter, but what new baby shouldn't be celebrated?! We had a very nice turn out, about twenty-five people showed up to sprinkle baby Tucker with his own new things! Let's talk just a minute about the food.... oh my good heavens at the food!! There was everything from chicken salad sandwiches, to taco dip, to home made chocolate TRACTORS! Yes, you read that correctly. My sweet friend Tammy, better known as Callahan's Paula Dean, made little chocolate tractors to go along with the theme of the shower & Tucker's room. We had yellow & green cupcakes, and my favorites.... mini eclairs! The shower was a wonderful time, and I am so truly grateful to have such loving, caring, & supportive friends. They mean the world to me and truly are a little piece of heaven here on earth. I love you girls!!!
Gifts galore, as I watched people arrive and my home become filled with chit chat, laughter, and children running and playing I stopped and looked around and had to take just a minute to say, "Thank you Lord!" The people that came love us and each one of them holds a very special place in our hearts. From diapers, wipes, pacifiers, clothes (super cute clothes I might add!), blankets, and even Big Brother gifts for Carter, my living room was full and so was my heart! It amazes me each time we have a family event at the outpouring love that comes from each person. I know I didn't personally thank each one of them that was here, but I pray that they know how truly thankful I am for their gift, their friendship, and their love.
Time to put all that stuff away, oh boy! Where to begin. I actually just sat in the glider staring at it all in bags & boxes and wondering where on earth shall I begin. I finally just had to snap out of it and just dive right in. I worked for probably two hours, placing diapers here, blankets there, organizing clothes in the closet by size, and then I'd fine myself right back at square one and moving stuff I'd already placed. I think I might have a bit of A.D.D, LOL! There's only one basket of laundry left to do for little Tucker. The crib is ready, the diapers are opened and ready for service, nightgowns are folded, bags are packed, and there I sat staring around this little 10x13 room dreaming yet again of the joy that is soon to be filling this room. The joy, the laughter, the coos, the giggles, the cries, the pure love. God is good, isn't He?
I just can't seem to wrap my head around the thought of how very good God is to me and why I deserve the many blessings He bestows upon me each day of my life. This morning, as I laid in bed before the sun started to gleam through my window, I felt a little hand touch my arm. I opened my eyes and there was my little Carter. He climbed into bed, and put his little hand on my arm and said, "I love you momma!" He laid there quietly for a minute and then as the sun continued to rise, he said, "momma, the sun is up rise & shine!" I just smiled at him and rubbed his little face, and thought sooner then later I'd have two little munchkins in my bed and I can only imagine that many of my mornings I will be awakened to the best wake up calls around! Carter rolled over, looked at me and started to sing Old McDonald had a farm. I just smiled and took that moment in and tried my very best to etch his little voice into my memory for years to come. "Sing with me momma...E-I-E-I-O!" The tenderness, and innocence of this child melts me. Just one of those blessings I'll never understand why I deserve.
Just nine more days, as the three of us. What will this week hold for us? Should I make it extra special for little Carter, should I secretly record us just as the three of us so I can look back and recall what life was like before there were four? Nah. I'm just going to trust God's perfect plan for our life and know that the sweetness I have right now is fixing to explode and be more abundant then I ever dreamed possible. Am I crying? You know I am. Tears streaming down my face. I'm a bit scared of the unknown, a bit hesitant about the change but on the other hand I'm so anxious and full of excitement to see my family grow and become stronger and closer.
I apologize if my blogs ramble sometimes, or if they don't seem to make sense. They are just my little thoughts, and a lot of times my thoughts just don't make sense. What does make sense is that my life is simple, yet full. My heart is not empty, and my home is not either. It is my hope and prayer that as my days of the three of us draws to a close and we soon welcome baby Tucker that God will let me enjoy each and every moment. May I see the good in every moment, may I cherish each conversation with Carter, I want to take in everything about this life as we know it right now and never ever forget how great it is but how sweeter & greater it will soon become!!!
If anything happens before March 4, I'll be sure to post for any of you that are keeping up with our progress! :) I'm also hoping to have a computer with me at the hospital so that I can update everyone from there, and maybe even have some pictures to share of Tucker when he arrives. :) Until then, take care & God bless!
Jen
Rest up sweet Tucker, you have lots of people waiting to meet you and Carter has so much he wants to show you and teach you. I can't wait to hold you, kiss you, & love you with all my heart! We love you little one, see you in just a few more days! I love you! xoxo.... momma