Monday, August 25, 2008

Music to my ears

Pregnant. That's a statement all by itself, isn't it? I mean along with pregnancy comes emotions, changes, different sizes (and oh can they get ugly!), love one food yet hate another, that you actually loved weeks ago. It's all just a very small price to pay, to end up with the joy you get in 9 months. Unexplainable joy, I might add. I'm 11 weeks 5 days into this pregnancy today. It's been a slow start, a queasy start, but a start none the less. Everything, everyone has to start somewhere, right?

I don't know why but this pregnancy I've been more hesitant about things. I guess maybe I know to much, and we all know that can be a bad thing. Anywho, I had my first ultrasound at 6weeks 4 days, which is very early. We saw the heartbeat, but to say we saw the baby well, if you can tell that's a baby from the ultrasound more power to you! Regardless, I've had the sickness, I've had the food aversions, the nose of a blood hound all the things that kicked in with Carter well they are here now too. I've had the normal "mommy" worries of whether everything is going as it should, is the heartbeat steady and strong, will this be a successful pregnancy. Gloomy thoughts I know, but anyone that has ever been pregnant I'm sure can say they've had similar thoughts.

By this point with Carter, I had heard his heartbeat numerous times, had an ultrasound and since I worked in the OB office I could pretty much hear the little thump thump whenever I pleased. This go around I don't have that luxury. I had the ultrasound, but since that was at 6 weeks, to hear it from the outside was impossible. At my 9 week appointment, we tried but no luck. So, I've patiently awaited todays appointment and wondered, would today be the day? There is just something about hearing that little thump that gives an expecting mother a peace, and a joy. Carter was with me as we waited for the doctor and when she came in, it was time. To hear the little one or not? That was the question. Carter watched very closely to see what this doctor was doing to his mommy. He's very protective for a three year old. It didn't take but just a few seconds to locate that little beat, that precious noise. As I smiled, and sighed with relief, Carter jumped down out of his chair and ran behind the table I was on and covered his ears saying, "I don't like it, I don't like it!" He doesn't like loud noises and it was a little loud on the doppler. What a special, special moment. To have one miracle, standing beside me and know that another is growing inside me filled me with complete joy & contentment.

I could listen to the little beat of my baby everyday and each time it would still bring a smile to my face. It is a peace, it is a comfort, it is forever etched in my mind. I am so grateful for this pregnancy, this child, this moment in my life and the many, many memories that lie ahead for me and my precious little family. Thank you Lord for your many, many blessings in my life. Today will definitely be a day I'll remember!!!

~Jen~

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