Friday, January 30, 2009

Fun Friday...what do you want to know????

So this week Cman has been sick since Satruday of last week. He has been running fever, coughing his little head off and should I add that we have personally been keeping Tylenol, Motrin, and Kleenex in business! :) I must admit that being a mom is tough sometimes, but being a mom to a sick child is even tougher. Each time he gets sick, I feel helpless and lost. To see your little one just lay around when you are used to chasing after them 24/7, really makes you miss chasing them believe it or not. Wednesday we went to see the doctor and sure enough, Carter has bronchitis. He is now on antibiotics and within just two days has started back on the road to our 'normal' little man!!!

Since I've been a little m.i.a for awhile, and I didn't really have anything interesting to blog about I thought I'd let you ask the questions. We'll just have us a little fun, ask me anything you want (((well, don't ask my weight, I'm not telling... somethings are better left unknown!))) I will answer your questions come Monday. Now, I hope you all participate because I'd really like to see what you really want to know about me. :) Hopefully you all will ask some interesting questions, and prayerfully I'll have some interesting answers for you!!! Just leave me a comment, there are several of you that I know read my blog but have not signed up with blogger. If you wish to do so, you just sign up with your email address and can follow my blog that way (you don't have to blog yourself, although I do recommend it), or you can comment anonymously to ask your question. Come on, don't be scared!

May each of you have a weekend full of relaxation and warmth.... us Florida girls are in for some more chilly weather. Not sure about ya'll, but I'm ready for some beach/lake weather!! Ta ta for now my dears!!


Friday, January 23, 2009

Honest Scrap Award... for me?!

New to the blogging world, today I wake up and find I've been awarded. Not once, but twice!! I don't have many followers, not looking to be a huge blogging hit, just thought it was nice that people out there enjoy my blog enough to think of me!! So anywho, here's the deal with the award. It's no trophy, plaque, or even a certificate of any sort, just a fellow bloggers way of saying they enjoy visiting my world here at The Days I'll Remember. Thanks so much Ros, Brittany, and Kati!! ;) Glad my simple, sometimes complicated, truly blessed life is interesting to someone other then just me!

The Honest Scrap Award....

The rules of the award:
1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

My Honest Scrap Award goes to.... (((drumroll, please...)))

1. Mrs. Kari Vennard.....
Love everything about your photography, your humbleness, and your way to be so carefree!! :)

2. Kelly's Corner....
Just recently stumbled across Kelly's blog and reading about how God is working in her families life has truly reopened my eyes to how wonderful and awesome our God truly is. My thoughts and prayers are with Kelly and her sweet baby Harper. God bless you Kelly!!!

3. Mrs. Brittany Bell......
Love reading about how God is speaking to you and your relationship with Him is growing even though you are facing some trials and struggles sometimes. Remember, "be still and know..." Praying for you.

4. Ms. Kati Farmer a.k.a Katibug....
You are one of the most caring, compassionate people I know. You have a heart ready and willing at all times. God is working in your life, just remember to cast all your cares on Him. He will answer your prayers in His time, in His way! Love you and wishing you and Daniel the very best!!!!

5. Mrs. Shannon Clark......
I worked with Shannon while I was expecting Carter and come to learn that she and I are alike in many many ways!!! Keeping up with her now is mainly through her blog, but at least I'm keeping up!! :) Hope all is well Shannon!

6. Mrs. Rosalind Reinolds....
This woman amazes me constantly. The mother of one, well really two, but she has so much on her plate continuously. She has a love for the Lord that is amazing, and her passion for God, life, family, and photography (which she keeps Chris in line about, LOL!) is inspiring to me. She is a good friend to me and I'm glad that God allowed our paths to cross! ...Hang in there dear the end is approaching for us both!... :)

7. Ms. Angie Smith....
I do not know Angie personally. I found her blog through another and was immediately captivated by the way she writes and the way God speaks through her. Her blogs are inspirational all the time and to find other Christians on the web, is a great feeling. Angie, I love everything about your blog. It has lifted my spirits so many times. May God truly bless you!!!

Now, it's time for those honest things about me:
1. I am a bit controlling, and somewhat outspoken... it's the truth.
2. I hope to one day have a photography business even if it's something small.
3. My child, well I should say children are the greatest gift I have ever been given here on earth.
4. My hubby & I have been together going on 12 years this October. Married for 5 of those 12.
5. I have a major obsession with ranch dressing and cheese fries... YUMMY, Yum YUM!
6. I prefer to wear flip flops regardless of the temperature outside.
7. I've been told (by my husband), that I make eating a chore because I'm so picky.
8. If giving someone something I've written it has to be written just right or I'll rewrite it a thousand times.
9. I have asked my husband to put me a clothes line up outside so that I can let my sheets blow in the wind. He says we have a dryer. :0 Maybe I'll put it up myself.
10. I am blessed, not lucky!

Now, some of you have already been awarded... I don't expect you to do this twice, LOL! :) Just wanted to recognize that I love visiting your blog!!!

Scrub a dub dub... there's a dinosaur in my tub!!!

Carter has decided that he's boycotting the cowboy bathroom for awhile. He has a new found love for the "big" tub in momma & daddy's bathroom. I mean what kid wouldn't? Compared to his tub, ours is like a swimming pool and he has much more room to place his toys around the edges without them falling in. This tub doesn't even require bubbles because it's so cool!!

He also has a new love for his dinosaurs. Amazing how kids can have a toy(s) for ages, and then walk in there room one day and it's like they've never seen them before. This toy that is months old, been at the bottom of the toy box is the absolute coolest toy in the world, instantly!!! He come running down the hall on Wednesday with his dinosaurs in hand and just gleaming with joy. Two little dinosaurs were quickly becoming a part of my son, literally. They don't leave his hand, or his sight!!

Time for a bath. We take off to the big tub, and he slams on brakes and says... I need my dinosaurs mom! Who was I trying to kid, seriously. Did I really think he was going to take a bath without them? I must need therapy. :) So off he runs to gather his new friends and they all jump in for a scrubbin'. He bathed them, talked to them, and I just smiled at how awesome his little conversations with these plastic critters. I let him play for what seemed like forever. Once I finally talked him into getting out he looked down at his hands and then looked at me very serious and said, "oh no momma! I have wrinkles!" So funny, how wrinkles on his finger tips are his way of knowing it's time to get out. Works like a charm each and every time!!! :)

Last night was no different when bath time rolled around. He was only going to bathe in our tub, with his dinosaurs. Oh, and there was a new guy (a $1.00 dino that I bought for him while I was at Wal-Mart yesterday). We started his water and one by one he tossed them all in. First there was Spike, then Rex, then Brutus, and last but certainly not least... "The BIG ONE!" Splashing, swimming, and getting clean he took care of each one and then I looked and he had all of them lined up in the window looking out the window at the cows. How cool are kids? He didn't realize that I was listening to him, but he was telling them to watch out for those cows, and our dog Cowboy because they would get them. When he caught me watching, he told me to "go away!" I expected that response, actually! :)
Little moments, water splashed everywhere, toys everywhere, snacks in my floor. Believe it or not, I'm becoming okay with this. Just to be able to sit back, watch, listen, and take in the awesomeness of this little person is enough to make me forget about the messes for awhile. :)

You are awesome Carterbug. Your imagination is a joy, your laughter warms my soul, and your sweet hugs are my comfort. Thanks for being my best pal! I love you sugar bear!!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Loving two...

Yesterday as I was passing sometime, on a photography board that I love one of the mother's asked a question about having two children. Would things be chaotic and hectic for weeks, or would things become routine fairly quickly? Hmm, does anyone remember someone else having those same thoughts... yep! Me! :) As so many of you have responded to me, the original poster was reassured that everything would work out. Routines would once again fall into place, there would be enough ways to love two or more children, your fears will soon disappear, and life as you know it will go on.

As I'm sure this other mother is, those word are reassuring, but the fear is still there until we step into the new world of "I'm a mother of two!" One of the other mothers posted this sweet poem that I found so touching, and true. I copied it to have so that I can remind myself & Carter that our lives are just becoming more special.

I walk along holding your 3-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you.
I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" and I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't".
Knowing in fact that I never can again.
You cry, I cry with you.
I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.
There are new times -- only now we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he adores you, as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.

This saying has really helped calm some of my many fears. I am bringing another joy to the family, can't wait to see how little Tucker brings smiles to our faces and more love to our hearts!!! Can't wait to see you Tucker, I love you!!!

31 weeks 3 days......2/52 weeks
Me with my two boys :) (((31 weeks pregnant)))

Monday, January 19, 2009

Little talks, wild imaginations & an emotional mother.

It's been a few days but I've been under the weather but I'm on the road to recovery now!! :)

Bedtime has become a bit of a chore at our home. Not sure what is going on with little man, whether it be anxiousness of the changes that are in our near future. Could it be nightmares? Maybe he just gets humor out of getting his emotionally & physically drained 32.5 week pregnant mother up out of bed three to four times a night. As I joked with a friend earlier, I'm really starting to consider sending him for a sleep study, LOL!! :)

As my pregnancy with little Tucker draws closer and closer to an end, my emotions grow stronger and a tad bit out of control. Luckily I have a good friend that reminds me that what I'm feeling is normal, that I'll get through this and being the mother of two children will be just double the blessings & joys. ***Thanks Renee, I love you!*** Those supportive words are always helpful but I must admit at 2:30 in the morning, when our wakings usually start, it's hard for me to remember that my little boy will only be little for so long and that he "needs" me. As I lead him back to his bed each night, my heart aches it breaks. To hear him cry, and plead for me to stay with him and sleep with him eats me to shreds. I am assuming it is just a phase but this phase is hard for me as well as him. As I stand at his bedside and assure him that he will be okay, I'm just in the next room my mind begins to race. Granted he is three, he's a smart three year old. Does he feel as if mommy is bringing in a new baby and he'll be pushed aside? How will I have enough time for two? I'm sure my heart is capable of loving two children, maybe even three one day but what about "Me & Carter?" What about our special times, our bond, will that change?? I've been overcome by these thoughts that have quite honestly become fears of mine. I am so scared that things will never be the same between the two of us. He's my baby, my buddy. I just want him to know that regardless of what comes into our lives he will always have a special, special place in my heart. My prayer is that God will calm my nerve and my fears. Now that I've poured my heart out to you all, I'll get on to the point of this entry.

The other night as I walked Carter to his bed he was holding onto my hand. His blankie, bear, and night night in the other. He climbed into bed and I laid beside him. We started talking and he said, "momma, please sleep with me" I told him he was a big boy and that he could sleep by himself. I quickly changed the subject to try and get his mind on something else. We talked about how the bed he was sleeping in was Daddy's bed when Daddy was a little boy. We then talked about going on a treasure hunt the next day. We would search for rocks, sticks, and raccoons! :) After an exciting treasure hunt we decided we would have a picnic. Carter was going to have a peanut butter sandwich, no jelly. Mom was going to have a jelly sandwich, no peanut butter. Dad, well Dad was going to get a peanut butter & pickle sandwich!!!! Lucky, lucky him!!!! I asked him to teach me to throw sticks through the fence like he was doing earlier that day. He told me, "No way mom! You aren't strong enough, only boys throw sticks." What was I thinking?!

Our talk went on for about ten minutes and then I said, "Good night Pickle!" He turned quickly to me and said, "Momma... I'm not a pickle, I'm shepherds pie!" I laughed, knowing this is what he had eaten for lunch that day at school. Silly boy. So I told him good night shepherds pie. He said, "Good Night, cupcake.... you a chopped liver cupcake momma!" At least I'm a cupcake of some sort, right? I leaned over kissed him good night and told him how very much I loved him. In his sweet little voice, he whispered back, "I wuv you too momma!" I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I just smiled and rubbed his head.

Little talks, and his imagination full of surprises for me are God's way of telling me that everything is going to be okay. It's okay for me to be nervous, and unsure. I have a precious, precious little child that will forever bring my heart and soul great joy. Another child that I've yet to hold in my arms and look into his little eyes and wonder, 'why me, what did I do to deserve this?' Our lives are going to change. New things will come, old things will go. Regardless my family will still be my family at the end of the day. The love I have for each of them will be no different, just stronger then it was the day before. My children & husband will amaze me with each day that passes with their forgiving, loving, spirits and their smiles from across the room and the laughter that fills our halls. I'm so grateful, yet so undeserving of this life. I'm holding on to these days of littleness, innocence, and all the little hugs and smiles. Truly, truly days I cherish and want to remember.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Going once, going twice, SOLD!

Yesterday was a first for me and little Carter. We attended our first bull sale! For the past two weeks he has been so excited about going to the sale, that's all we've heard about. We woke up early and headed to Lake City. When we arrived, we signed in and then went to the barn where the bulls were. Carter was in hog heaven, or should I say bull heaven?! :) The night before he told me before he fell asleep that he didn't like it when those cows mooed at him, they are too loud he said. We weren't there five minutes and the little guy had his head perched on the gate looking through at these massive animals when one of them walked closer and stuck it's head out to smell him, and then he mooed at Carter twice! It scared the poor kid to death. Luckily, he didn't cry his eyes just looked like they were going to pop out of his head! He then giggled and said, "Momma, he's talking to me!"
We made our way down the barn looking at each animal. I personally had no clue as to what we were "looking" for, but Travis, Granny, and Papa sure did. They were looking them all over, jotting down numbers, and notes. I was just "looking" for piles of poo to avoid. I mean come on, I wasn't wearing boots so I had to keep my little feetsies clean! :) As we walked, Carter spotted two chickens and from there on he was persistent that we were to get a chicken. What on earth would we do with a chicken?!

The barn was full of bulls, and the mooing was a constant noise in the background. Watching Carter interact with his Daddy & Grandpa was something special. Not only for me, but for Papa & Travis as well. Granted, they are men and would probably never let on that they were really enjoying him being there, but they did nonetheless. The actual sale wouldn't start until after lunch so we had ourselves plenty of time to listen to the moos, and check out these bulls. Finally, they said lunch was ready and we headed in. Steaks, green beans with potatoes, salad, and a roll! Yummy, it was good and Carter, believe it or not, pigged out on that steak! ((Ironic the things they'll feed people at a bull sale, LOL!)) The whole time we were eating he kept checking with us to see if it was time to go to the sale. I never dreamed a three year old would be so fired up about a bull sale. It became very clear to me that I definitely have myself a country boy, and this would not be his last sale!

After lunch we had a few minutes before the sale started so we walked Carter up above the stalls where the bulls were being placed for the sale. Nothing like walking above eighty head of thousand pound bulls! The rails on either side were not much, I was on pins and needles thinking Carter was going to fall as he poked his head through to look at them. It was time, time to find our seats and for the sale to begin. We were on the second row in front of the where the bulls would come in. Carter was so excited. Someone, I can't remember who, had told him that when the bulls came in that people would raise their hands to bid on them. To say the least, Travis & I had to make sure little bull buyer didn't raise his hands and get us a bid in, lOL! :) He was awesome, he loved watching the bulls come in and it was just exciting to his little mind. Then came "the bull". It was the one, in Carter's mind. He was sitting in my lap and so whole heartedly said, "Momma, I want that one!" I just told him okay, and let him talk. Little did I know when the auctioneer said, "SOLD!!", that Papa had bought the bull!! Papa had no idea that Carter had told me he wanted that bull. Funny how things work out, huh?

After that bull exited, and the next one came in we noticed that Carter was really trying to keep himself awake. He was rubbing his eyes, and blinking a lot and we knew it was time for us to go. After all, Papa had bought the only bull the kid wanted so no need for us to stick around! We gathered our things and headed out the door. As any mother would do, I told him he needed to go to the bathroom before we left and he responded with, "Momma... I don't have to potty, I have to go get my bull and put him in the trailer!" He was very unhappy with me and cried as we made our way to the truck that he wasn't able to watch his bull be loaded into the trailer.

We headed for home, and we weren't on the road five minutes when our little cowboy was out. The excitement of the day, and the early rise had gotten him. When we got home, Travis took him from his seat and he opened his eyes and immediately said, "where is my bull?" Travis told him he wasn't home yet, and the little guy was completely broken hearted. Tears and all he just laid his head on his daddy's shoulder and went back to sleep. All together he slept for two hours!! I finally had to wake him and as he sat up he looked around and said, "Papa home with my bull yet momma?" I assured him that we would go to Papa's to see and if he wasn't there we would wait until they got home.

When we made it down our road to Papa's he looked up and said "they're home momma, they're home!" He was so excited that his bull had finally made it. He jumped off the four wheeler and took off to his Daddy. Granny said something to the affect of "papa's bull" and Carter quickly corrected her letting her know that the bull was his!!!

Bully-bully is now in his new home, or should I say pasture and doing just fine. He's surrounded by pretty women, what man wouldn't be happy?! I'm so thankful that Carter was able to attend his first bull sale with Papa Cotton. Although he may not remember it in five or six years, I know that it meant a lot to Papa, Travis, and even me. I love when family traditions are carried on and I know that Saturday was the start of a new tradition for my husband and son! Not much longer and Tucker will be trailing right behind them!!!

Until next time...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A little thing that makes me smile...

Recently there is a new little something that makes me smile and get a little teary eyed. Carter has hit the stage of singing little songs that he hears here and there. Today I picked him up from school, and we came home to play in the yard for a bit. Two hours later and lots of dirt later, we came inside for him to take a bubble bath. I ran the water, he splashed and played and I stepped out for just a minute. As I walked back down the hall to check on him I hear, "on top of spaghetti all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed....." I stopped dead in my tracks and just smiled.

He's been singing little snippets of different songs lately, but this one I've never sang to him. He must have heard it at school and it has finally stuck in his little brain. A little brain that is churning a million miles a minute, and recording every little thing he hears. He then started singing about "David, David..." I wasn't sure what that was all about, so I asked him. He responded with, "Momma... David and the giant, Go-li-ef!" Again, I smiled, my heart went pitter patter, and once again I was broad sided with the fact that my little boy is growing up with every passing moment of the day. The innocence within him, the genuineness, the joy, that smile, and those sparkling little eyes. He gets me the most though when I'm in the middle of something, and he says, "Momma..." I've caught myself responding with a quick, "what Carter?!?" Then he walks closer to me and wraps his arms around my leg and says, "I wubb you!" (((Interpreted as... I LOVE YOU!))) This usually happens at the most unusual, unexpected times. Each time it happens, I look at it as God's way of telling me... 'jennifer, you're going to fast. He's only going to be this size for so long. enjoy it, or you'll miss it.' Talk about a lot to swallow. God has a very unique way of getting to me.

The past week has been a little bitter sweet for me. As I've mentioned, the thought of being someone other then just Carter's mommy has been having it's way with me. I'm a little, nah.. who am I kidding, I'm very concerned about how Carter is going to react to our very near future. I fret over will I be able to have enough time for them both, how will I make him still feel like he is my A #1 priority? I have been trying to make the very best of these days that are just me & him. My little buddy, my heart, my partner in crime :)! He's my whole heart, my life for the past three years, and I don't want in any way shape or form for things to change between us. Will they, yes. That's inevitable. Little moments like tonight make me wish I could turn back time just for a moment and relive my last three years. (((I'm an emotional train wreck right now as I type this... sobbing, and picturing little things from the past))) Five years ago, I would have thought 'three years, that's nothing!' Tonight, it's clear as day that each day, each moment, each year... is EVERYTHING.

I've heard most moms that are soon to deliver their second child talk about concerns of "will I love the second one as much as the first?" That is not my concern at all. My true concern is that I want to be able to give both of them, all of me. Unselfishly, joyfully, whole heartedly. I don't want to look back when they are grown and say, why didn't I enjoy those days with them? I don't want to look at them raising their children and say, "I wish I would have spent more time with you." I want my children to remember a mom that made things fun, made them feel like they were the most important kids in the world. I want them to remember a mom that let the dishes sit a bit longer, to go sit in the grass with them. Or a mom that didn't care if they ate all their veggies one night and just had junk food for dinner. I want to be the mom that just has fun.

Life is so incredibly short. We're not promised tomorrow. God could take me, my husband, or my children at any given time. I'm not one to make new year resolutions, just never been my thing. This year, however, I'm going to make a promise... not a resolution, but a promise to myself to be a better mom. The mom that brings a smile to my children's faces when they are old enough to realize the important things in life. The things that I have on my priority list that really don't matter are soon to be bumped for more important time spent with my children. God has been trying to open my eyes more then ever, and I think it's time for me to stop and listen. He's granted me this perfect gift. A life of pure joy, with an amazing husband, a child that is more joy then any other I know, and another child that will bless me in so many more ways. I'll never really understand why God has chosen me for this life, I'm grateful but so unworthy of it. So my promise to myself & my family, it's going to take work but it is my prayer, my true cry to God to make me the mother & wife I should be. With Christ all things are possible, right? I trust this, I believe this, and I'm going to hold strong to this.

To my husband & children,
You are my reason for my next breath. You are the most amazing gifts I could have ever dreamed possible! I'm so grateful to have you in my life and I pray that I can bring you as much joy & laughter as you have brought to me. May God bless our lives with many years of contentment and peace as a family!

Looking forward to the days of head filled with little moments like tonight that will just warm my soul!


Monday, January 5, 2009

Just breathe.....

As the weeks until Tucker arrives being to dwindle it becomes very clear to me, he will be here sooner then I am probably ready for. Those who have been pregnant before know what I'm talking about. I'm starting to think of the ten million things I have to do, things I have to organize, things we need to buy, how things will change, and then there is that "nesting" stuff. Oh my heavens, I feel like I can't get this house clean enough. I've been mopping, sweeping, rearranging, you name it. Then, by 3:00 each day, my body says, "hey... goof ball, take a break you are carrying a human in side here!" That other little thought of pregnancy becomes very vivid.... the aches & pains.

I was talking with a friend about being pregnant for the second time, and we both agreed this time around is a littler harder on the 'ole body! :) My hips feel like I'm 90, my back feels like it's been broke a million times, and my poor lungs, they are screaming for their own personal space back!!!! I huff and puff, constantly. If you didn't know me, or know that I was pregnant you'd probably label me as a lifetime smoker, LOL!!!

Last night I had one of those lovely pregnancy dreams that leaves you thinking, 'oh heaven, what if that really happens.' I dreamed that Tucker arrived two weeks early. I had nothing ready, no one lined up to watch Carter, the bag wasn't packed, I didn't have him that perfect coming home outfit, nor was anything else that was supposed to be ready, ready. When I opened my eyes this morning, I just thought to myself, please Lord, don't let it go that way!!! :)

I suppose it is just my nerves setting in. As of this Wednesday we officially only have 9 weeks until this little blessing should be filling our lives with more joy!! Huh... did you read that correctly, 9 weeks people, only 9 weeks!!! Pardon me while I go freak out a bit more!!! :)

Have a great day, I'm off to find something else to clean or fret over.

Love, Jen