He's here, he's perfect, and he's a RED head!!!!!! You read that correctly, my sweet little angel is red headed and looks like his Dad. Let me back up and give you all a little recap of little mans big day.
~Tuesday Evening, 7:00 p.m.~
I was busy making sure everything was packed, everything was clean, and everything was where it needed to be for when my house became full of guests to meet my new little munchkin. I'm sure most of my busyness was cause by my ever jittery nerves. My mind was running ninety miles an hour that night. My heart was full, but scared. My mind kept telling me that everything would work out but something inside my heart was so scared that my life would not be the same, that it just wasn't going to 'work'. I had emotional meltdowns all night. Carter would reassure me, Travis would give me that quiet half smile that he does but I was still concerned. Nothing anyone could say or do was going to calm me down. I then received a call from my mom. She played her motherly roll, as she so perfectly does, and once again the tears went to flowing. I also received an email from my sister with some ever sweet words as she always does. I responded back to her and poured out my heart and soul in that email and prayed that God would give her the words to say to me, as He so many times has, to calm me. Her response left me with tears streaming down my face. She said that she had spent the evening praying and seeking what God would have her to share with me. She quoted scripture and reassured me that I was going to be okay. The email is one that I'll never forget, it was so touching that I printed it and put it in my purse to take with me to the hospital so that I could look at it throughout the day and use those words as strength.
Before Carter got ready to head off to bed, I played with him in the floor as comfortably as I could. We were playing monster trucks, when all of a sudden I felt a little trickle of some sort. I slipped out of the room thinking, "oh my stars, my water just broke... this can't be, I'm going to be induced tomorrow morning, this can't start tonight... no, please lord, no not now!" I made my way back to play with Carter, along with several trips back to the bathroom to see what was going on. What was happening to me?! This really set in the panic on my behalf. I mentioned it to Trav and he just gave me that look of 'honey, calm down... you are just anxious.' I took that look seriously and figured, he's got to be right I'm losing my mind.
We all finally made our way to bed, and as I laid there trying to fall asleep I found myself praying and asking God to please watch over me and Tucker as the time drew closer and closer for us to meet each other. I prayed and asked God to calm my fears, remind me that everything was going to be okay and to let me remember as things became chaotic in a few hours that He was in control. I knew that in a matter of hours it was going to be show time. I finally drifted off to sleep when I heard that little voice, "momma... momma..." I didn't hesitate to make my way to Carter's room. I crawled into bed with him, wrapped my arms around him tightly and told him I loved him. I found myself again crying out to God to please comfort me, and just praying for our family.
~Wednesday morning... 4:45 a.m.~
At 4:45 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I awoke and sat quietly in the dark in our living room waiting to make the call to labor and delivery to see what time they wanted us to come in if they had a room. 5:30 rolled around and I figured I might as well call now, so I did and much to my surprise they were ready for us. They wanted us there at 6:30, I told the nurse we would be there as close to that as possible. I woke Travis and told him it was show time!!! I was trying my best to keep the smile pressed on my face and not let him know how truly scared I was. I told him to call his mom and let her know so that she could come and stay with Carter until he woke up and they could come on down. I showered, and once again there I was praying, crying, and full of every one of those emotions that us girls go through.
After getting ready I had to make sure everything was still ready for my house to be on display when I came home. I had to make the bed, put all the towels from that morning in the dirty hamper, made sure Tucker's room was "ready", then I walked down the hall to kiss my little man bye. As I opened his door and I looked in on him, there came the tears. I crawled into his bed and just pressed my lips to his little head and thanked God for the many memories, blessings, and smiles he had brought to me in the past three years. As I kissed him, I told God to let him understand that his momma loved him and little Tucker did too!! I hugged him tightly and then walked out the door.
The ride to the hospital, it was a quiet one. I knew I couldn't talk without crying, and I think Travis wasn't really sure what to say to me either. He knows I'm one big walking tear drop, so sometimes words just aren't necessary. He is such a quiet supporter, and for us that just works. We got closer and closer to the hospital and my stomach started swarming with butterflies, wasps, gnats, call it what you will but I really thought I was going to puke. The closer we got, the more I shook, the more I started to sweat, the more my heart pounded. Once we parked and it was time to get out of the truck, we were both still quiet. By this point I think the fear was very, very clear on my face. It was now about 7:10-7:15, yep we were late, we walked to L&D, pressed the button and they said to come on in to suite 3. As we walked down that hallway, we passed suite 6 where we welcomed our first little boy into the world. Walking down that hallway brought back so many emotions from three years earlier. Suite 3, we had made it. When I walked in, just like three years earlier, there laid everything they would need to welcome Tucker into the world. All of the paper work laid out on a tray for me to fill out, the machines were all ready, the gown on the door, the covers pulled back on the bed and the nurse waiting for me. She told me to get changed and we would get started.
After all the paperwork, and all the signing of this and that, the nurse said she would start my i.v. and then the pitocin would follow. Oooh, pitocin, for anyone that has ever had that stuff knows it is a bit of a four letter word, LOL! Once my i.v. was in and going, in came the doctor of the day, Dr. Laubscher. She broke my water and around 8:45 the nurse started the pitocin. Dr. L had said that whenever I was ready for the epidural that I could go ahead and get it because I was already 3 centimeters and that was close enough. I opted to let the pitocin do it's part for a bit before jumping to the epidural. Well, let's just say it did NOT take long for the pitocin to do it's job. I don't remember exactly what time I asked for the epidural but I can promise you the back labor I was experiencing was not something I wanted to deal with very much longer. I think it was around 10:15-10:30ish when I got it, and low and behold... IT DID NOT WORK!!! They had to come back a second time, start over, and low and behold.... IT STILL DID NOT WORK all the way. I was completely numb everywhere except from the bottom of my left rib cage to the top of my left hip bone. That was still enough pain for this little lady to be beating the bed rail. Call me a wimp, low tolerance for pain but I for the life of me can not understand why any woman in her right mind would deny getting an epidural!!! To those of you that have had natural, and I mean ALL NATURAL child birth... GOD BLESS YOUR SOULS!!! You are far better women then I.
After our little epidural experience, Travis decided to go down to the cafeteria with his mom and Carter for a snack. There was no need for him to rush because according to my last check I was only five centimeters. My mom, my aunt, and Kari were in the room with me and even with that miracle drug of the epidural, I was still in quite a bit of pain. I couldn't open my eyes, and when I did I begged that they please make my back stop hurting. I so desperately wanted someone to figure out why my epidural wasn't working like it should. The nurse came in and asked if I was still feeling the pain and I just nodded that yes I was, and she said that my face told her that I had to obviously be farther along then they expected. She checked me again and said to us, "if there is anyone else that is supposed to be in this room for the delivery, they need to get here NOW!" Travis was still downstairs eating. My mom, Kari, and my aunt were trying to figure out his cell number when I finally yelled it out and they called him. I could not believe that it was time, it was time for me to meet this tiny miracle that I'd been carrying and nurturing for the past 9 months.
Travis made it to the room, and then came Dr. L. I'm not sure how many pushes it took, all I know is that it was happening fast and there was about to be a new little miracle in my arms!!! 12:24 p.m., my little Tucker made his way into this big world. As I finally opened my eyes to meet him, my heart full as it already was, was now over pouring with love for this little person that my husband and I created. He was perfect, he was tiny, and he was ours!!! He wasn't very active to start out with, so they took him straight to the warmer. As I watched through the bed rails, I remember thanking God for taking all my fears and anxieties away. This little person He just brought into my life is another piece of the puzzle that I was needing.
All 7 pounds 12 ounces of him is absolutely perfect. He looks so much like Travis, yet so much like Carter. He has an adorable little round head, filled with this beautiful carmel/red hair. I'm in awe. It was time for his big brother to meet him. Carter came in the room and just smiled!! He told me, "momma, he's not in your stomach no more?" He also gave Tucker the night nights he had bought for him and it was one of the sweetest things I'd ever seen.
Our family couldn't wait to meet our little one. Everyone, just as I was, amazed by how much he looked like his Daddy. We had so many visitors, we truly are blessed to have such a supportive family. After delivery as the room was filled with all the excitement of this new little member of the family there was a knock at the door. I wondered who on earth it could be as everyone was already here. The door opened and from behind it stepped, my sister!!! She had driven in from Graceville to surprise me but Tucker came to fast for even her driving! I was so touched that she made that drive for us, and to know that she had been on her way and I'm sure she was praying for me the entire way. Just another sweet memory added to my already perfect day. As the visitors left, and our little Carter went home with his Granny, the room became quiet and it was just the three of us. We bonded, we talked, and Travis and I once again just sat in that silence that is us. One of us just as content as the other. This is our life, one more blessing added to it, and this is how it should be. :) It's pretty amazing to me that we don't have to be filled with chatter to know how very much we love one another and our life.
The next morning, we were informed by the pediatrician that Tucker's left collar bone is broken, or so they believe. He moves it, but not as much as the right. We just have to keep him wrapped tightly for a few weeks, and it should heal fine. Other then that everything seems to be going just great.
Life at home, well... it's life at home but with a little person in tow. Everything I feared, everything I fretted over, it's not mattered. Just getting into a routine of four is all that has really changed. Travis and I tease with each other that now he has one, Carter and I have one, Tucker. He's in charge of Carter who has taken to him like crazy, and well, Tucker is my little attachment for awhile. :)
Tucker is an amazing baby. He's an excellent sleeper, and a pro at nursing. I truly could not ask for more. My heart is more full then I imagined it could be and my life more complete then it was just five days ago. God is so good to me. To think that I was so worried, huh... funny how things work out.
Thank you to all of you that have called, emailed, or came by to greet our little one. We hope you all get to meet him soon!!
Toodles for now,
Jen & Tucker...~who is laying ever so peacefully on my lap~
