Your tiny touch

Yesterday was Tucker's 4 month check up.  Little bear weighed in at a whopping 16 pounds 9 ounces.  He is 26 inches long.  I checked Carter's book when I got home and Tucker out weighs him by two pounds by this point and he is an inch longer.  I think Carter may end up being the big, little, brother! :)  As with all check ups during the first year little bear was stuck four times for shots.  He cried, but was quickly calmed down by clenching my fingers as I laid my head against his and hummed.  He is usually so easy to calm down, now that the colic days are gone.  

When I put him to bed last night I once again found myself in awe of how wonderful our God is. As I watched him lay there so peacefully, my heart was just full.  Being a mom to two of the sweetest little people, is so much more then I ever dreamed possible.  

At 4:30 a.m. Tucker cried out.  This is around his usual waking time, so I went in and he sucked down his four ounces and once again clenched my fingers.  There is something about that little tiny touch that melts my heart each and every time.  It's like his quiet way of telling me he needs me and he loves me.  Those tiny little fingers wrapped around my one finger, ever so tightly.  I'm sure it is a security for him.  It's a peace for me.  I usually put him right back in his bed after he finishes his bottle but last night, I didn't.  As he peacefully laid his sweet head against my chest, I just sat there and rocked my sweet baby.  I hugged him, and listened to him breathe... talk about sweetness.  There is nothing sweeter then your child sleeping in your arms.  I finally caught myself nodding off, so I placed him back in his crib and kissed his cheek.  

This morning, he wakes around 7:45, and just coos and started blowing bubbles for probably five minutes.  He is just a little round ball of joy! :)  (((Sorry Tucker-bear, for calling you a round ball)))  This afternoon, nap time came.  Tucker fought a little bit, but finally gave in. Carter gathered all his night nights, and blankets, and decided he would sleep on the couch.  He laid there for a minute and then looked up and said, "Momma, will you rock me to sleep?"  I was honored.  He's not wanted me to rock him to sleep in probably over a year.  I'm sure it's from watching me always rock bear to sleep, but I didn't care.  If my baby wanted his momma to rock him to sleep, then so be it.  He crawled up in my lap, and although he's much heavier, and his legs draped over the recliner it was sweet.  It brought back tons of memories of the days when he was Tucker's size and I rocked him to sleep daily.  He's just as sweet to rock now as he was then.  I waited and waited for him to settle down and relax.  I put my finger in his little hand and it wasn't long he fell asleep.  

The tiny touch of their sweet little hands.  The silent, 'I love you momma' that I get from those five little fingers wrapped around my one, amazing.  I wouldn't trade my life as their mother.  I just pray that they know how very much they mean to me, and how my heart is in the palm of their sweet, tender hands.  

Boys... I love you with every beat of my heart!!! ....momma...