Thursday, October 22, 2009

Just my boring rambles...

Wow, what a week. Roller coaster of emotions. On top of everything, Tucker is having his own rough week. Unlike your normal teething baby, my sweet child has decided that he'll just cut to the chase and get all his teeth at one time. He has his two bottom teeth, cut his first top one a few days ago, now the second top one is breaking through, and the third bottom tooth is pushing it's way to the surface. Whew! Wears me out just thinking about it.

Anyone that has dealt with a teething baby knows that cutting one tooth is one thing, but come on three?! What on earth did I do to deserve this? He is clingy, he's whiny, he's snotty (sorry, but it's true). Luckily, unlike your normal teether, he does not run fever and this time around his bottom is getting a break from "the" breakout! My poor little bear is miserable. He's tired, I'm tired, we're both cranky and I just want my smiling happy baby back. If anyone sees him crawling around aimlessly, please return him. There is a reward, LOL!!

Our community has been struck with horrible news. A seven year old girl was kidnapped, and killed. I will not go into details but it's just horrible. My heart breaks more each and every time I see her mother on t.v. How do you wake up and face another day knowing that someone snatched your child as they were walking down the street and then kill them? I can not imagine the pain that she and the rest of her family are going through. She keeps saying, I can't remember if I told her I love her. Goes back to what I said earlier this week, make sure you tell the ones you hold so dear know that you love them each and every day. The mother says she misses her smile, holding her, and giving her kisses. Please, keep this family in your prayers. Hold your babies tight tonight and let them know you love them.

Papa is about the same. We are just taking it moment by moment, breath by breath. We did not go over to visit today because of Tucker being so cranky, Carter was extra hyper, and I think we just needed some family time at home. I've thought about him so many times today. Every time the phone rang I was hesitant to see the number calling. I talked to my mother in law who said he told them he was ready to go. It's still so hard, even though we know it will be okay. Papa's sister Jewell was with us all last night as we gathered around his bed. She told him that he was loved very much, and that his children would take care of Granny. She then paused, looked around the room at each of us and said, "Children, nothing would please your Daddy more then to know that each and everyone of you will meet him in Heaven." I sobbed when she said that. I am so grateful that I know the Lord and I know when my time comes that I will be in His arms. For weeks I've wanted to step out and ask that question to the family that has gathered, but I've hesitated. Why? Fear of rejection I suppose. Fear of not knowing how to answer any questions they may have, fear of not being the witness I should be at all times.

Last night as I stood at the foot of his bed, God spoke to my heart and at that moment I realized that just because I handle things one way does not mean that someone else will handle it the same way. I can only hold myself accountable for my actions, I can't be accountable for anyone else. I may be the only light for someone in that home to see. I may be the only comforting word they hear, and if I'm not being a good witness for Christ, then my work is in vain. I've learned so much in this week. I've learned that death really isn't as 'scary' as I had always pictured it to be. If you know the Lord, it can be a very peaceful time. Over the past year I've wondered how I would handle this time that we are facing now. Would I run from it? Would I be a supporter? Would I have the words to say to provide comfort for the family that is grieving? The time is here. I've not once wanted to run. I've wanted to be with our family each and every moment possible. I've held Papa's hand and told him how very much I love him and appreciate the values he's left us. There are so many things that God has shown me this week, valuable lessons and things I will never forget.

On a good note, we have a buyer for our old house. My brother and sister in law (well not officially but she might as well be). I am so excited. It's a blessing to us to find a buyer, and I'm super excited about having them just minutes away from us. Now, if we could just get my sister and Kyle moved back to town, and then move my mom here we'd all be right here together.

Well, I've rambled enough here. I should find my comfy p.j's and get in the bed. If tomorrow is anything like today, big bear is going to have it in for me!! Good night all, and God bless!!


Jessica said...

Your rambles are never boring. I assure you.

So sorry about the teething. It's no fun whatsoever, is it? girl's been working on those top ones for awhile now, and the first one finally broke through the other day. The second one is trying and it's torturing her.

Prayers for your family, as always.

Debbie said...

Boy, you have a lot going on in your life at one time! Sounds like you have a good attitude about everything though and I'm sure you will hold it together through it all.

Juggling Thoughts said...

We haven't heard from you in a while, I hope everything is going alright.

We are thinking about you!!